“Woody the King”
by Bill Cleary
A candid conversation with the Father of Modern Skateboarding
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| "They used to call me the Guacamole Kid." "You have to live it to become great!" "I'm only nine... but friend, I've lived!" |
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| "Watch those picket fences!" "The future is endless." "...death at every turn." |
Wherever one travels these days—wherever civilization has advanced far enough to boast concrete sidewalks—the skateboard is taking over; the sport of skateboarding has taken the western world by storm. Even the communists are getting into the act. And of course the Russians say they even evented it. Actually, it is unknown where the first primitive roller skates and heavy cumbersome soap-box coasters came from. But the truth of the matter is that skateboarding, as it’s known today, got its wobbly beginning in the sunny little town of Santa Monica, in Southern California. The first modern boards were built in the back yard shop of skateboard magnate R. L. Stevenson. He called them Mahahafor in truth his first models were very funny looking. But since those early days the sport has grown into an international pastime.
As every sport, Skateboarding has its heroes. Woody Woodward was one of the first pioneers, having single handedly built the first convex skateboard. Just to touch upon the achievements of this great sportsman would fill volumes. But for the past few months we have repeatedly begged Woody to give us an interview—so the millions of skateboard fanatics everywhere might at last know what it is that has made this man great. But as all heroes he’s an eccentric. He lives with his family, hidden away in the fashionable outskirts of Los Angeles... away from the maddening hustle and bustle of the modern world. He goes to school, does a little fishing in front of his secluded beach mansion, and does a great deal of reading. Recently, we were honored to receive a call from his private secretary, announcing that Woody had finally consented to a brief interview. Delighted with such an unexpected opportunity, we rushed right over, and were met by a very calm, self-possessed, and benignly smiling Woody Woodward. Dressed casually in a silk robe, he led us to his study and gave us the following interview.
Woody Woodward: I’m glad you’re here. As you know, I’ve devoted a major portion of my life to skateboarding, and of course there's a number of things I’d like to say to the people out there. Just sit right down over there.
Surf Guide: Well, good Mr. Woodward—ah, say... may I call you Woody?
WW: Certainly, my boy, certainly. Have a cigar?
SG: Uh, no thanks. Say, aren’t you a little young for cigars?
WW: Smoked them for years. If you call nine years old young, then I’m young. But friend—I’ve lived. I mean really lived!
SG: I can see that. But tell me, Woody, how did you get started in skateboarding. I mean, did you see Bod Brawn’s first skateboard films and get stoked... or what?
WW: No... no, I began way back before the first lightweight skateboards were even invented. Back in the red-wagon and rollerskate days. They used to call me the Guacamole Kid. Ah, it was great then... nobody around for miles. Oh, there were a couple of kids with scooters and flexi-flyers. But one day several of us got together—we figured there was more to skating than just rolling straight down the block—so we picked up an old plank and stuck a pair of skate wheels on it. Suddenly there it was. The skateboard was born! What a glorious moment. Of course, It wasn’t any Mahaha, but it was a beginning...
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| Woody the King demonstrates the fine art of modern skateboarding. |
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| "You have to throw your whole body into it... like this. It's simple, see? Just up and over. It's the follow-through that's important." |
SG: Yes, Woody, skateboarding has certainly come a long way since it first began. As a matter of fact you were one of the original Mahaha shapers weren’t you?
WW: Yes. Bob Symonz and I put the first spinout-proof wheels on a skateboard. Up till that time it was almost impossible to turn fast or really get in tight trim without spinning out. We were building the first convex skateboards in our back yards. Guys like Dewie Gerber, Grogg Nihl, Wordy, Sweat, and Hobby—they were just kids on the block. Look at them now. Millionaires! Besides that, look at all the money these skateboarding late-comers like Dickie Mora are making in the movies these days... Hey, now that we’re here, how would you like to hear a little skateboardin’ music? Just happen to have my guitar handy here and...
SG: Uh, thanks a lot, Woody, but...
WW: Oh, Ah Ride De Heavies in De Hollywood Hills and I won't Stop Rollin’ Till I See My Babee...
SG: Uh, thanks, Woody. That’s nice. But we really do have to hurry with the interview. I told your nurse we'd be done in time for your nap. Uh... what do you think of the future of skateboarding? Will it spread to foreign countries?
WW: Well, the way I look at it, there's downhill places and uphill places. Some countries are completely downhill. And in countries like this, as I see it, the future is endless...
SG: Ah, yes. I see your point.
WW: Yes. Now take Switzerland for example. It’s going to be big there. That much is certain. But when we speak of the ultimate—we want nothing but the biggest—nothing but the steepest. The Himalayas! Chomolongma!
SG: Choma-what?
WW: Chomolongma. In Nepalese, of course, that means Mother Empress of the world. The biggest of them all...
SG: You mean...
WW: Yep. We’re going to be the first to ride Everest! It’ll be rough, but we’ve got the best men in the business. Norman Backinforth will lead the expedition. It’s vital that we get there before the Red Chinese. They've already made secret test runs down the North Slopes. We’ve got to stop the skateboard gap!
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| "You can cheat a little by dragging your foot." "Just like an Island pullout. Get right on the tip and give it all you have." |
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| "You get right on the tip and drive!" |
SG: Gosh, I had no idea it had gone that far. How did you get involved in this? I mean, what is it that drives you to such heroism?
WW: Heroism? No, man. It’s much more basic than that. It’s Freud. Fear. The challenge of death at every turn. You never know when you’ll spin out or land in poison ivy. You really have to watch those picket fences, too! But most of the time you don’t even think about it; you just keep driving. You tell yourself you’ll make it and you do. And then of course there’s the beauty of it all. It’s larger than life. There’s nothing more awe inspiring than a vacant sidewalk in the calm of early morning—the birds singing—nobody out walking—no cars... It’s all yours!
SG: That’s beautiful. I can see that to you skateboarding is art: an aesthetic entity that defies all attempts at pseudo-analytical, philosophical astructurization...
WW: It’s my life. (Yawn). Let’s try to speed things up here... It’s nearly three o’clock! I’m only nine, you know...
SG: Getting sleepy?
WW: You would be too if you were nine years old! You don't have to get up in the morning and face a bunch of ignorant fourth graders!
SG: What’s it like to be a national hero and go to school at the same time?
WW: It’s a drag. All these girls that stand around on the corner when I'm out turning on—they’re nothing but a bunch of - - - - !
SG: Woody! What language from a nine-year-old boy!
WW: You’d talk dirty too if you had these vultures all over you. They don’t like you for what you are. They don’t really care about you. It’s the same as the crowd that watches bullfights, or boxing, or the Grand Prix. They’re just waiting for you to slip... they want my blood! Waaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
SG: Don’t cry, Woody. I’m sure they really love you.
WW: No they don’t! Waaaaaaahhh! They want me to get hurt! Waahh! But I get even with them.
SG: How do you do that?
WW: Well, on weekends all the kids take their skateboards out to school and they go roaring around in the corridors. Around noon it really gets crowded. So I wait till it’s so choked up with kids on skateboards they can hardly move, and I get way up on top of this hill right near the library, and I get going so fast I can smell the ball bearings burning. And I go blasting right through them, whip-turning and kicking out all over the place. I go mad! I dog fight ’em... I messerschmidt ’em. I get even with them, boy...
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| “You gotta stay in shape!” |
SG: Well, Woody, I promised your nurse that I’d be finished in time...
WW: I’m only nine, you know...
SG: Yes, well do you have any tips for the millions of skateboarders in our audience? Something that might help them to become better skateboarders? Do you use special wheels, or wax, or a certain kind of ball bearings? What is it that’s made you what you are?
WW: Nah, it’s none of that stuff. You don’t have to use anything special, it just takes lots of practice, a good diet... you gotta stay in shape all the time. No smoking or drinking or girls. You have to live it to become great. I spent years just looking at concrete before I even got on a pair of roller skates. You have to be able to ride all kinds of hills. You have to know how to go up as well as down. There’s no shortcut to success. So, when you ask me how I made it to the top—why it is that they call me King—I have only one answer: I’m just a darn smart kid.
End
